Intelligence Among Us

After Cindy’s death, Tanja printed and framed a really nice picture of Cindy and the girl’s from the first day of school last year.  We put them on their night tables and I know its brought them comfort.  Last night Melody came out of her room crying and said that the picture of Mommy was making her upset.  I went up and we talked and she said that she just felt so sad when she looked at the picture because mommy is dead and she’ll never get to see her again.   Despite the fact that this kind of sadness has been mercifully rare so far, the tears seem to come at night.

We decided that maybe it would be a good idea to take the picture down for a little while and put it somewhere safe.  Knowing that she could take it out whenever she wanted to seemed to make her feel better.  I think she felt a small sense of control over the situation.

I told her how upset I felt the other day at the cemetary and that I cried afterwards and reiterated to her that there is no right or wrong time to feel sad and that we just need to make sure to always talk about things.    She seemed to feel better.  A lot of these little steps will make up this journey.   They are such good kids.

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