Intelligence Among Us

As you may know I have 2 young girls.  5.5 years old and 4.  As a parent sharing custody of my kids I wanted to share what I have learned about being a dad to girls.

1. Never, under any circumstances, say a bad word about their mom in front of them.
2. Learn to do ponytails and braids (the braids things is a work in progress for me).
3. Let them paint your fingernails and paint theirs.  When they come and ask you to paint their nails as you’re leaving for work – take the 5 minutes and do it.  They’ll remember.
4. Play dress up
5. Be silly
6. If they are upset or tired and want their mommy, don’t ever take it personally.  It doesn’t mean they don’t want you.  They want both of you.
7. Don’t get upset and threaten them with things you will never follow through on.   Outline realistic consequences and stick to them.
8. When they do something wrong,  get down to their level and look them in the eyes when you are explaining why it was wrong
9. Mean what you say.
10. Be consistent and fair – this can be tough sometimes.
11. Don’t make a big deal if they want to wear ridiculous looking clothes to school.  It lets them express themselves and what difference does it really make in the big picture?
12. Praise them always when they try their best.
13. Explain to them that if they can’t do something as well as they want getting upset about it won’t help.  Practicing will.  Some people are better than others at things but the only way they can be the best they can be is too work hard.
14. If it’s not about something dangerous I don’t want to hear tattling.   Explaining to a 5 year old that she needs to influence her sister and create a win-win is a tough sell but it will make sense to them one day.
15. Build forts in the living room out of mattresses.
16. Encourage them to talk to you about anything and everything
17. If you don’t have a pool take them swimming at the community center
18. Tell them lots of stories where they are the superhero princesses and daddy is the goofball.
19. Dance with them a lot.
20. Take them to see their grandparents a lot.  It’s such an important relationship.
21. Let them sleep in your bed sometimes (only sometimes).  Despite the fact that they flop all over and drive you crazy.  Remember what it was like when you were a kid and got to do that.
22. Don’t yell at them.  If you do get upset and yell or overreact…cool down and acknowledge that you make mistakes too.
23. Be affectionate and tell them that you love them lots every day.